What do dieting and Genesis 2:24 have in common? Give up? The verse states, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." In today's modern world people become over-weight and diet. The flesh is fat, not just the wife or the husband but both for the two have become one.

Another verse emphasizes the connection: Ephesians 5:28 "So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:"

"Losing weight and keeping it off is a dream for many people. Some women have been "queen size" all their lives and some men have been "chubby" since first grade. They have tried diet after diet in this "thin world" without success and have reached the state of hopelessness. For those who are married there is still hope if they can get the support from their mate to succeed. Successful weight loss is more than "will power", it takes individual effort and support from those who love you A husband or a wife must be as committed to weight loss as the spouse attempting to lose.

My wife of twenty-five years has tried every diet program from grapefruits to bodywraps. All have failed until we had a long talk about past diet plans and why they failed. I've always been slim, athletic and weight conscious so dieting has never been a concern. She, on the other hand, only had to look at food to gain weight. We discovered that in order for her to succeed, it would have to be a joint effort. Her successful weight loss of sixty-five pounds over a period of nine months came because we worked together. Some of the things we learned as we went are listed below. If you want to be successful, it will take the efforts of two.

1. When the dieting person decides it is time really do it, suggest looking at diet plans you both may be able to live with. Being supportive usually means having to eat some of the same things as the person on the diet. If the diet contains too many of the things your mate would rather not see on his/her plate, you can't count on much help. A diet plan you both can live with is the plan you both must choose.

2. Be mindful of straying eyes. Dieting women are very conscious of eyes, especially when they are dressing or undressing. A glance can be mistaken for disapproval. There have been many times when I have heard, "What? You are looking at my hips, thighs ..." It wasn't that at all, we were just in the same room and she was in my line of sight. Things can be touchy with a dieter.

Husbands are just as sensitive. One husband and wife came to blows because she suggested he buy pants that covered his "crack". He bought size 38 pants which he wore below his belly and consequently when he would bend over, the pants were not positioned to cover the rear.

3. Snacking is best done when you are alone. Rice cakes may crunch but will not satisfy the dieter if you are eating potato chips and washing them down with beer or a soft drink. The rice cake and glass of water just will not satisfy. Plan ahead if you and your dieter plan to watch TV together and snack. Have your favorite snack while you are apart and have a munchy that will not be so tempting while you are together. You may try ice cream while your dieter has a diet yogurt, or a diet ice cream.

4. Go out to restaurants often together. Dieters do not want to surrender their lives to diets. Many diet plans provide food guides that include restaurant fare. Choose those restaurants that are included and then choose a meal that will not be tempting to your dieter. Skip the dessert till you get home. A movie after the meal will stem the urge for dessert and make the evening complete.

5. Don't be annoyed by questions. "Do I look like I have lost in my arms, legs, ...?" are questions that will be asked over and over again. It takes weeks of diet and exercise to see significant loss and the loss is so slow you may not be able to notice. "Yes, dear you are getting there!" is a simple enough answer and it is truthful. The slightest praise from you will be the best incentive to stick with the diet. Answer questions truthfully, cooperate with the dieter. Don't be surprised if you are constantly quizzed about the bathroom scales needing adjustment. We have a weight bench in our home and I occasionally carry fifty pounds and stack on the scale just to prove the accuracy.

6. Dieting requires a person feel good about their appearance if they are to be successful. When weight loss is more than 5 pounds, clothing sizes begin to change. A successful diet will mean new clothes often. It is important to your dieter to look good and not feel they are wearing clothes that do not fit. Before launching the diet, make allowances in your budget for new clothes. If the dieter will be dropping several sizes, plan to shop every few weeks for "disposable" clothing. Buying inexpensive items that fit but will not be permanent. Discount clothing will look good for a few weeks, consignment shops offer good prices and relatives will often loan for a few weeks just to be supportive. Bottom line is you want your dieter to feel good about their appearance and feel they are making progress.

7. Weight loss requires exercise. If you are not a person who likes exercise, you will be doomed to losing weight slowly and then regaining all you have lost. The key to keeping it off is exercise. Your spouse can help by helping you to select the right way to exercise and a willingness to exercise with you. Some women are not comfortable going to a an exercise club because of their looks or their lack of physical ability. This is something that needs to be discussed. If the choice is to have a home exercise program, some equipment is necessary. The spouse may have to be brave enough to go to an exercise center to see what is there and try out a few types of equipment. Yard sales, consignment shops and some sports stores offer great prices on used equipment. Shop together and buy what the two of you will use. A home gym such as a weights and pulley system is by far the best because it allows the user many exercises for toning the whole body and it can be used by both men and women.

8. Encouragement is the most important element of a diet program for your mate. As often as you can, tell your mate how good he/she looks. Take time and do things together such as shopping, movies even sports. You don't have to spend a lot of money but you must spend time together strengthening your relationship. Encouragement is not just words it is in being together.

Diets are never enough for successful weight loss. Proper nutrition and exercise are by far and away the keys to losing and keeping weight off. As in quitting smoking, stop drinking or kicking drugs, a support system is necessary to lose weight. Do it together and both will reap the rewards.

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